Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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