so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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