They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
