It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
