We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
