The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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