i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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