my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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