One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize