i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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