so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
