Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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