I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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