Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
