frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
