I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
