For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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