i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
