Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
