...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
