I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
