how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
