If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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