what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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