i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
