Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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