what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
