peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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