I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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