Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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