bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
