so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
