six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
