You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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