Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
