Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
