Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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