Having a random hookup so left but love u
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
