Who wears a wallet chain?!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
