okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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