I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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