Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
