i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
