For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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