i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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