We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
