Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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