That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
