you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
