Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
