I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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