There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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