yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize