I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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