Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Your dad touched me again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
