There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ketchup is God's man juice
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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