I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
