On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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