I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
