Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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