did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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