I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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