i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
