my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
