Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
