Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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