I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize