elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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