weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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