did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize