i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
