Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
