I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
