Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
