PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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