Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
