you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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