I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Holy shit dude........stairs
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
