Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
